Search

Kitibella Lookbook

Look good…feel great! You deserve it.

Denim, Diamonds & Divas (Part 1)

Hey everyone, guess what…

My sister’s having a baby! ūüôā

I’m so excited you’d swear the kid’s mine.¬† Well… since I can’t have the baby for myself, I took ownership of the next best thing – The Shower!¬† My mom & I decided to keep it casual with a Denim & Diamond theme.¬† It was all hands on deck from family & friends who pitched in¬†&¬†helped with preparations incl her mom-in-law who will be a granny for the very first time!¬† Today marks exactly 6 weeks¬†before¬†baby Mason is due and we can’t wait to meet the little guy.¬† Here are some photos of the day…

DSC_0564
Mom-to-be, Nicole Van Jaarsveld

In keeping with the theme, we wrapped every day tin cans in denim fabric, white lace & raffia ribbon which were used to serve snacks & sweets.  A nappy cake wrapped in denim, bling and shades of blue blankets with baby toiletries.  Cupcakes & other treats in shades of blue.

And this is Mason asleep in his crib.¬† Well at least until it was time for desert ūüėČ

DSC_0356
Baby-in-a-crib Fruit Buffet

Thank you to all our friends & family for making the day so special!

DSC_0539
My sister & I

To be contd.

 

 

Advertisements

What women want

This one’s for the guys…

It’s no secret that women are¬†viewed as the more “complicated” sex and that over 2000 years later, men¬†are still battling to “figure us out”.¬† For some time now I wanted to write a post that would help men understand us better.¬†¬†I started out by sending a broadcast message asking ladies to name the top¬†2 things they felt would significantly improve their relationship.¬† As I suspected, the responses were quite similar and proved that we’re really not that complicated after all.¬† And so gents, I summarized the results in only 8 simple¬†points:

1. Spend time with her

Many men confuse sharing space with spending quality time.¬†¬†Quality time is the time¬†set aside for paying full and undivided attention to her.¬† Whether you‚Äôre just sitting on a bench talking or out on a dinner date, it’s only quality time when you’re fully present in the moment without distractions.¬† So it may be a good idea to ignore your cell phone during that time.¬†¬†About a¬†month after my husband and I started dating I decided to end the relationship.¬† When he asked me why, I simply said we don’t spend enough time together. This took him by surprise because we saw each other quite regularly.¬† You see, she needs to feel a connection that only¬†develops when you¬†spend quality time alone with her.¬†Tip: 30 minutes of being fully present in conversation¬†beats the 30 roses you bring home from work by a long shot. Of all the things you could give her, your time outweighs them all.

2. Affirm her

Whether she’ll admit it or not, she cares a lot about what you think.¬† She can¬†catch the attention¬†of a thousand friends or strangers with that sexy new haircut or¬†get 500 likes on her new facebook profile picture but nothing¬†compares to¬†an honest compliment from the one she loves.¬† 10 brownie points for public displays of affirmation.¬† If you knew¬†what your affirmation does to her confidence, you would do it every day.

3. ¬†Don’t spy

Nothing spells “RED TAPE” more than a jealous man.¬† I’ve seen beautiful relationships destroyed as a result.¬† I can just imagine how exhausting it would be to be married to a man who constantly questions your fidelity.¬† Distrust, whether it’s deserved or not, will ruin a relationship faster than it takes for your woman to even consider cheating on you.¬† Your jealousy and insecurity is NOT cool and you’re not ready for the long term consequences.

4.  Support her

Do you know what she wants out of life?¬† What is important to her?¬† She is not just a wife, mother, cook, taxi driver and nurse at 2am when the kids catch a fever.¬† Every woman has dreams, aspirations and¬†goals.¬†¬†A¬†definition of success for her life.¬†¬†Some are small and others so big it may even scare you.¬† In todays world there are¬†more women¬†who¬†earns more and/or are more educated than their partners.¬† Do not let this intimidate you.¬† She¬†may not¬†need you to make the dream come true for her but she most certainly¬†needs your support.¬†¬†Motivate her.¬† Cheer her on.¬† Help¬†when you’re able to.¬† Understand that you are a team and chances are that you have a skill that she¬†needs to get her to the next level.¬† Perhaps you’re¬†better at research or budgeting or working with tools than she is.¬† Again, you are a team and if one wins¬†then both win.¬† If one team member falls then¬†the best way to finish the race¬†is to¬†lift them up and encourage them towards to finish line.

5.  Share the load

Help out around the house. ¬†Cook at least once a week.¬† Change a diaper.¬† Whether she’s a 9 to 5’er or stay home mom, life¬†becomes hectic and a woman’s ability to multitask sometimes feels like a curse when we‚Äôre stressed about whether school uniforms are clean; that long list of tasks at the office; did we get all the groceries we need; the preparations for that “thing” is weekend;¬†why your eldest was so quiet at dinner or whether the little one had her cough syrup before she went to bed. A hundred million thoughts being flawlessly multitasked in her head…..all while having sex!¬† Lol.¬† See why I called it a curse? Jokes aside, life is¬†hectic and all we want¬†is to know that we are not alone in all of¬†it.

6.  Surprise her

Women are often the ones to suggest romantic getaways, family outings, date nights¬†and we take it upon ourselves to plan it, budget for it and execute it.¬† It would mean so much to her if you surprised her by¬†taking on that role once in a while.¬† And an occasional surprise gift would be great which leads us to the next point…

7.  Shoes!

More specifically, Kitibella Shoes!¬† Lol¬†just kidding.¬†¬†Shoes are my thing and also many other women I know.¬† But every woman has¬†something she enjoys spoiling herself¬†with as a¬†reward after a tough day, week or month.¬† For some it’s perfume, flowers, a¬†new hairdo,¬†chocolates, a spa treatment,¬†a new dress or even a¬†book.¬† If you don’t know what it is, find out!¬† If it’s something you cannot afford this month¬†then plan ahead for it and make sure that when the time comes, you actually¬†follow through.

8.  Intimacy

Intimacy is not a synonym for intercourse. This is where men sometimes miss it. Women generally experience intimacy as they talk, touch, and share their thoughts and feelings. Intimacy is normally a result of quality time. Great intimacy sets the foundation for a great sexual relationship. And the frequency of the 2 is often related. Yes I said it. If your wife isn’t too eager to have sex check the level of intimacy in your relationship. Also keep in mind my previous point about how easily we are distracted and how our minds work overtime when we‚Äôre swamped with chores. So trust me when I say there‚Äôs a magical question that can take your sex life up a notch, you know…take you to the promised land‚Ķ.Just 1. As simple as that! Are you ready for it? Just 1 question to ask when you wake up in the morning and get home from work: ‚ÄúHoney, what can I help you with?‚ÄĚ ūüôā

Ladies, if you’re¬†still reading:

Don’t:

  • Disrespect him, especially in public
  • Make him choose between a day at the mall with you or watching the game‚ĶHelluur?
  • Expect him to read your mind.¬† Just say what you want
  • Nag him to talk about his feelings
  • Nag. Period.¬† It’s just a toilet seat, let it go.
  • Be jealous and controlling
  • Wear clothes you know are just¬†inappropriate.¬† Not sure?¬† Ask.
  • Try to change him
  • Compare him to another man

Marriage is¬†beautiful, if we’re not busy suffocating each other ūüôā¬† Communicate at all times.¬† Forgive more and don’t be too proud to admit when you’re wrong.¬† If we commit daily to focus more on the positive qualities¬†in each other we would find new¬†reasons to fall in love all over again.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to share your thoughts below.

Till next time

Nadine

And it’s a wrap!

If you’re an average girl, like myself, then I’m guessing that right now you’re trying to get rid of the winter weight as you make your way into summer, the ever popular social season here in South Africa.  This is usually when those invitations come rolling in: weddings, cocktail parties, year end functions etc. and we’re faced with that dreadful question: “What to wear?”.

Fortunately for us, ladies, the more comfortable/loose fit is trending at the moment and we can use it to our advantage.  Anything from stylish kimonos to beautiful flowy wrap dresses which makes covering that extra winter weight a lot easier.  Investing in such pieces is definitely a great idea!  Non-stretch fabrics such as satin, chiffon and even tulle are great options if you’re focusing on giving those unwanted curves less emphasis.  I chose to wear this beautiful floral dress to a friend’s wedding ceremony as it fits less snug around my problem areas (hips and lower belly aka “muffin top” lol) and shifts emphasis toward my middle and neckline creating the illusion of an hourglass body shape.  Remember – with the right outfit you can easily draw the attention to your more flattering areas while you work on getting back into shape.

Wrap Dress:  Young Designers Emporium

Shoes:  Kitibella

Clutch:  New Look

 

Till next time,

Nadine

Dear Time…

‚ÄčThey say in the beginning there was nothing but that’s not true. You were there. And everything else came to be to prove your very existence. The sun in the day and the moon by night rotating to create a cycle that helps us to measure and define you.

Time…

They say you can heal all wounds. As much as I love the hope this clich√© brings there are some wounds that even you can not erase and the best we can wish for is that we somehow grow stronger through the pain; that the effect thereof will start to consume us less and less each day. There’s a condition though isn’t there? A fineprint… We have to keep moving with you.

Time…

If it’s one thing I respect you for it’s the ability you possess to move forward no matter what. You never look back.  Never get weary. You never stop to think ‘what if’. You wait for nothing and no one to catch up with you. Like a river that never runs dry.  You do not ask permission or approval. You simply do not care because you don’t need an applause in order to run your race.  Your finish line is unknown to all.  Your pace is as consistent as nothing I’ve ever seen before.  You are self sufficient.

Every step you take sends someone on this planet to their eternal home. Reuniting them with those who have gone before them.

Time…

You are the essence of contradiction. You give and you take away.  You cost me money as you demand I give and then return it to me as I gain in interest.  You’re the difference between a seized moment or missed opportunity; bringing either regret or relief as we wait you out.
You can cause a couple to grow closer to each other or drift further apart with the decisions they make with every breath you take.
You cultivate growth and wisdom but also increase foolishness as we choose not to learn or waste you.

Every day in small moments of you we’re faced with choices: between right and wrong, to go left or right, to love or hate, to move forward or stay the same. The choice between  life or death. And the sum of these choices is our life and defines the person we become.

Time, who is your creator and how are you here? What is your purpose? God, is it You? Are you Time? Alpha and Omega. Beginning and end.

God, is it You?

Author: Nadine Murray

How to love an introvert 

You walk into a room and find your partner sitting on the couch by herself having a cup of tea in complete silence. For the extrovert this picture spells loneliness but for those of a more introversive nature…. that is FREEDOM.

Introverts and extroverts are often viewed in terms of two extreme opposites, but the truth is that most people lie somewhere in the middle.   This is probably because the average person reacts differently based on situations and is able to ‚Äúadapt‚ÄĚ their personality accordingly given the right circumstances, however, each person is either predominantly introvert or extrovert.

Opposites attract

Ever wonder why most of us find ourselves attracted to people unlike us?  If you’re an extrovert chances are you’re married to, dating or close friends with an introvert. And as much as opposites are naturally drawn to one another; loving and happily living together may not come as naturally. It takes work to build a successful relationship when your personalities are worlds apart.  I am an introvert, married to an extrovert. When he says braai, I say movie. But as much as our differences drive each other crazy, the balance he brings to my life keeps me sane.

The Biggest Myth…

The #1 myth of being an introvert is that we don’t like to talk.  Not true at all.  We genuinely enjoy conversation.  But we will however, refrain from voicing an opinion until we know exactly how we feel about and/or have enough knowledge or understanding regarding the topic being discussed.  Until then, we’re happy to simply listen and gather facts.

Don’t assume

Sadly, our silent nature in a social gathering is often misinterpreted as boredom, shyness, depression or some have the idea that you’re stuck up.  I’ve recently come across a few of the latter.  Random strangers whom I’ve only just met (meaning I had my first ever conversation with) saying “I actually thought you were stuck up”. Did I mention that I had just met them? Lol.  It puzzles me how the human mind finds it easy to fill in the blanks about people, their actions, intentions and the worst of all: their motives.  This “misunderstanding” is where many arguments and strive is born. Assumption often leads to misinterpretation and possibly offense.

The Beauty of Silence

Privacy is our comfort and spending some alone time is priceless.  This is when ideas are formed, creativity thrives, thoughts are put into perspective and everything comes together.  In that moment of silence in the midst of the busyness and chaos, is where life starts making sense again.  Sometimes we actually have full blown discussions in our minds jumping to and from topics that if we had to verbalize them at that point you’ll think we’re insane. I’ve tried verbalizing my thoughts while in this space a few times but I end up starting a sentence not realizing that I’ve completed it only in my head lol.  It drives my husband insane because while he’s waiting for “the rest of it” I’m already on “the next part of it” thinking: please keep up!  At this point, just gently slow him/her down and tell them where you got “lost”.

Don’t force it

Don’t put too much pressure on an introvert to share their opinion in a social setting.  You may cause them to withdraw or feel embarrassed as they gasp for words in an effort to make sense.  We make perfect sense to ourselves, in our minds, but we need time to gather our thoughts and bring it across in a manner that makes sense to everyone else.  So the best way to break us out of our shells is to let it happen naturally.  This takes time.  When it does, who knows, we may just end up taking over the conversation.

Want us to open up?

Then listen more and interrupt less.  Often times the reason ‚Äúquiet people‚ÄĚ don’t share more in a group is because they’re bound to be interrupted by an extrovert who feels that we’re not getting to the point fast enough.  Be patient, let them finish.  Trust me: 80% of the time you try to complete his/her sentence, you thought wrong.  If you want an introvert to continuously engage in conversation, then don’t interrupt his/her train of thought while doing so.

Say what?  A speech?

Never, under any circumstance, put an introvert on the spot by calling us to the stage to address a crowd with no prior notice and agreement. No, No, No!  There’s a big chance that it will be a disaster. Being the centre of attention can be daunting so we need a heads up please.  We can be great public speakers however we need to be given a reasonable amount of time to prepare.

A Friend for Life

Quiet, alone time is vital to our well-being but that doesn’t mean we don’t like people. An introvert only has a small circle of close friends and we truly treasure each relationship.  It‚Äôs more important to us to build lasting, meaningful relationships with a few people rather than hanging out with large groups all the time. In fact, walking into a party venue filled with 100 strangers can be quite overwhelming so as a friend or partner, please try and stay close for most of the evening.

Lastly…

Introverts are extremely loyal to the people we care about and expect the same in return.  Keeping secrets are quite easy because we tend to think before we speak (most of the time).  Going the extra mile is no train smash, whether you deserve it or not so no need to get suspicious when we’re being “nice” ūüôā  We rarely talk about our problems, because it makes no sense to us logically to do so.  Also, because we’re private. We are in no rush to tell you how we‚Äôre feeling and we want you to be okay with it.  In fact, your introvert friend or spouse could be going through the biggest hardship he/she has ever faced and you won’t suspect a thing until one day, they have a reason to talk about it.  Be patient.  If you want to do something nice for your friend who‚Äôs currently in a bad space: grab her favourite snack and a movie, board game or whatever and go over there.  Unless she’s phsyco, you really don’t have to avoid her lol.  He/she will open up when they‚Äôre ready.  Just being there is enough and appreciated more than you realize.

The thing about introverts is that once they’re comfortable with you they can be the funniest, most enjoyable people to be around.  It’s like a secret they feel comfortable sharing with you except the secret is their personality. ~ unknown ~

Dont give up on someone just because they view and react to things differently. It is your differences that brings passion to your relationship, compliments the person you are and makes you a perfect match. Trying to change your partner will change the very reason you’re together in the first place.

May your love conquer all

Nadine

5 Trends this Spring

Hey ladies

Its happening! ¬†We’re closing the door on winter and saying helloooo Spring!¬† And what would a change in season be without indulging in a few new wardrobe items to spice things up a little.¬† Here are 5 hot trends worth exploring this season:

  1. Embroidery Рa personal favourite which adds class and elegance to the most simplistic look.  You will find it denims, tulle, polyester and even leather.
  2. Satins РPJs? Think again!  Satins are the new daytime trend used in kimonos, wrap dresses, pants, bombers and my personal fave the stylish satin blazer.  Its comfortable and on trend this season.288626_P_1502701189128.jpg

3. Florals Рwhat would a spring wardrobe be without at least one striking floral piece to pair with a bold lipstick and stylish court shoe or barely there sandal.

4.¬† Bohemian – Yes you heard right!¬† Bohemian is back and there’s no reason not to indulge in this funky, Coachella inspired trend.¬† Go for it!

5.  Stripes Рlast but certainly not least stripes have been flooding the runway with anything from casual to cocktail wear.

Fashion is what you buy, style is what you do with it.

Happy Spring!  May you experience joy this season and may the beauty of spring fill your heart in overflow as you simply do you!

Love

Nadine

Hope after Heartbreak

Everyone wants to be happy, successful, the person others look up to and someone who has it all together.  But when disaster strikes, this very vision for our lives is crushed, or at least we think it is.

The truth is: Nothing you face in life is big enough to destroy you. Nothing. 

When disaster strikes, the feeling of defeat often feels like an overwhelming rush of uncontrollable hopelessness.¬† Our heart shattered into pieces.¬† I’ve had quite a few of these.¬† Lost a loved one, a failed business venture,¬†disappointed¬†in a¬†relationship etc.¬† It feels as though your life has come to an end and rebuilding seems an impossible illusion.¬† Like a vision becoming a fantasy.¬† In this moment, fear and anger creeps in and depending on your temperament style you will either explode with irrational rage¬†or silently withdraw into a deep depression.¬† These are all natural human responses to unbearable circumstance.¬† Should you give in? Certainly not!¬† There’s always hope after heartbreak.

Take a moment

When you find yourself in a difficult situation,¬†take a moment!¬† The worst decisions are made in a moment of anger.¬† I can guarantee 99% of decisions you make, you will regret.¬† Emotions are temporary, decisions are permanent.¬† This is why you owe it to yourself to not act until you’ve taken a moment or 2 to calm down, pull yourself together until you have a clear holistic view of your situation.¬† It won’t be easy but ask God for a spirit of¬†self-control.¬† Cry, scream, smash something in private¬†if you have to release anger – but don’t find a permanent solution until you’ve dealt with your anger.¬† In the case of losing a loved one, allow yourself¬†a moment to grieve.

Forgive

The hardest part of heartbreak is forgiveness.¬† Without this step, there is no¬†way forward.¬†¬†This is often where many people get stuck.¬† Forgiving oneself and others involved is the most vital part.¬† It’s the medicine to your disease, the scar tissue that mends the wound and yes, the scar will not magically disappear but it will be a reminder of how far you’ve come and a testimony to others that they too can be healed.

Be real

Be real about what caused you to fail and don’t deny your part in it.¬† Identifying and knowing your weaknesses is important step to achieving your goals.¬† Instead of “why is this happening to me” rather ask “how can I move forward” which brings me to the next step…

Look ahead

Failure is a stepping stone to success.¬† As clich√© as it may sound, it’s true.¬† You may not see it now but soon you will find a way to smile, laugh and have fun again. Perhaps even laugh about the very thing that made you cry.¬† But some challenges are vital steps to the next chapter of our lives, the next level of growth and one step closer to our destiny.¬† The same way we cannot go from Grade 1 straight to high school, there are intermediate levels with lessons to prepare us.¬† Rome wasn’t built in a day.¬† As horrible as it may be, failure is necessary.¬† There is no great success story without a few failed attempts.¬†¬†Your life is not over.¬†¬†Make time in your mind to relive the happiest moments of your life, the blessings whether big or small¬†and let those thoughts be the last to occupy your mind before going to bed at night.¬† Today is just the beginning.¬† The next steps you take, is the ones that matter.

Take care, and may the next chapter of your life but the most amazing testimony of all.

Love

Nadine

Going Green on Life

The past year has not been easy.¬† I’ve been challenged professionally, financially and the most difficult of all – in relationships.¬† I’ve heard the saying before but only now realize it to be true:¬† Our hardest tests are¬†in the areas of our lives that matter the most.

As a programmer, I spend long hours “communicating” with a machine, speaking in code, teaching it to think and make decisions based on human input.¬† Yes for about 40 hours a week, I’m a geek LOL.¬†¬†In programming, there’s a concept called garbage collection.¬†The garbage collector attempts to reclaim “garbage”¬†(memory occupied by objects that are no longer in use by the program). Without gc a program could eventually exhaust all computer memory causing¬†a program¬†to crash.

Why am I saying all this?

Life can often get so busy. Exhausting actually. So much to do, so little time.¬†¬†How much of what occupies our mind (thoughts) and time actually adds value to your life?¬† There’s a profound quote that says: “Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the¬†seeds. You can either plant flowers or weeds.”¬† There’s no better thief of ones joy than to fill our minds with worry, stress, fear and negativity.

It may be time to do some garbage collection ūüôā

Go green on your life!

Love,

Nadine

Get the look:  Choker top and ripped jeans, Zara. Shoes, Kitibella.

Baby, it’s cold outside!

20604248_1712029112426005_8625903538689922305_n

So many of us are dreading the cold, pinning for warmer days as do I.¬† However if we only¬†take a moment¬†we’ll¬†realize that¬†there’s so much to love about this season.¬† The smell of rich stews and soups to that delicious cup of hot chocolate we unapologetically enjoy during a lazy movie night under a warm blanket. And then there’s those fashion pieces we only get to style¬†for about 3 months¬†in a year.¬†Warm knits, long boots, furry statement coats¬†and scarves.¬† One can’t help but notice the silver lining.¬† As in life, although its easy to focus on the negatives let’s take a moment and embrace the good in life, those little blessings that we can be thankful for and before you know it – there comes Spring!

20621068_1712029109092672_1257332364272135716_n

Get the look:

Dress – Ergo Zen

Shoes – Kitibella

Bag РThe Space Baywest Рby Amanda Laird Cherry

Stay stylish, stay positive!

Love, N

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑