Everyone wants to be happy, successful, the person others look up to and someone who has it all together. But when disaster strikes, this very vision for our lives is crushed, or at least we think it is.
The truth is: Nothing you face in life is big enough to destroy you. Nothing.
When disaster strikes, the feeling of defeat often feels like an overwhelming rush of uncontrollable hopelessness. Our heart shattered into pieces. I’ve had quite a few of these. Lost a loved one, a failed business venture, disappointed in a relationship etc. It feels as though your life has come to an end and rebuilding seems an impossible illusion. Like a vision becoming a fantasy. In this moment, fear and anger creeps in and depending on your temperament style you will either explode with irrational rage or silently withdraw into a deep depression. These are all natural human responses to unbearable circumstance. Should you give in? Certainly not! There’s always hope after heartbreak.
Take a moment
When you find yourself in a difficult situation, take a moment! The worst decisions are made in a moment of anger. I can guarantee 99% of decisions you make, you will regret. Emotions are temporary, decisions are permanent. This is why you owe it to yourself to not act until you’ve taken a moment or 2 to calm down, pull yourself together until you have a clear holistic view of your situation. It won’t be easy but ask God for a spirit of self-control. Cry, scream, smash something in private if you have to release anger – but don’t find a permanent solution until you’ve dealt with your anger. In the case of losing a loved one, allow yourself a moment to grieve.
The hardest part of heartbreak is forgiveness. Without this step, there is no way forward. This is often where many people get stuck. Forgiving oneself and others involved is the most vital part. It’s the medicine to your disease, the scar tissue that mends the wound and yes, the scar will not magically disappear but it will be a reminder of how far you’ve come and a testimony to others that they too can be healed.
Be real about what caused you to fail and don’t deny your part in it. Identifying and knowing your weaknesses is important step to achieving your goals. Instead of “why is this happening to me” rather ask “how can I move forward” which brings me to the next step…
Failure is a stepping stone to success. As cliché as it may sound, it’s true. You may not see it now but soon you will find a way to smile, laugh and have fun again. Perhaps even laugh about the very thing that made you cry. But some challenges are vital steps to the next chapter of our lives, the next level of growth and one step closer to our destiny. The same way we cannot go from Grade 1 straight to high school, there are intermediate levels with lessons to prepare us. Rome wasn’t built in a day. As horrible as it may be, failure is necessary. There is no great success story without a few failed attempts. Your life is not over. Make time in your mind to relive the happiest moments of your life, the blessings whether big or small and let those thoughts be the last to occupy your mind before going to bed at night. Today is just the beginning. The next steps you take, are the ones that matter.
Take care, and may the next chapter of your life but the most amazing testimony of all.